Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
