But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize