Whod you bang
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
