i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
