i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
