there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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