so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Alive.
So much puke
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
