i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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