Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
