I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
