ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
