oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
