bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
