Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Fuck appropriateness.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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