For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
