Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
