why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
