I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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