I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
