i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
