i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
