I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
