what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
