After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
