You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
