every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize