Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize