Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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