Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
