Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Randomize
