hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
