I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
