i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
