i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
