when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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