I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
