I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
