Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
