He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize