I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
