3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
