i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
and you fell through a lawn chair
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
