# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
