you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
