who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
