Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
