remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
