Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize