The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
