I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
