It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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