: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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