How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
