We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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