I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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