then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
