what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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