Tell her she can't have a vagina
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
