I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
