i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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