Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
