I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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