just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
