what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
