She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
