Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize