I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
