Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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