im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
