two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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